Tuesday, January 02, 2007

From the Japanese Interest Desk of the Department of the State of Confusion

And the mystery ingredient is:


Words: Japan Probe
Uncensored Pictures: Banana Hole
Censored Pictures and commentary from Lost in Ube

Interesting factoids: NHK is government owned. The occasion was a widely popular New Years Live TV event, the performance the doing of some person called DJ something-or-another (Doesn't seem to be lacking for free traffic already), who reminds me irresistibly of The Chairman from Iron Chef. Clearly the mystery ingredient is BURI!

Turns out that the fully-dressed performers were wearing body suits airbrushed to appear as if they were naked. (Note, a stunt that would not work with Vegas dancers).

It turns out that a large cross-section of the audience (pro and con on the issue, I might add) who saw these images in lower resolutions were convinced the girls were actually mostly nekkid, but a casual examination of a section of the still from the performance (featured above) clearly reveals how fake the nudity was.

Now here's a question for ya; which is actually more offensive: a pretty and fully naked Japanese girl, or a Japanese girl who is covered in an airbrushed body suit with a fully erect mushroom as a sop to "modesty?"

You know, I've been known to create erotic and even consciously pornographic works. Not only do I like playing with social taboos, I enjoy sucker-punching them, kicking them in the groin when they are down and then symbolically peeing on the whimpering metaphorical remains of my wrath. I am definitely down with consciously messing with misplaced and objectionable social taboos.

But, much to my surprise and vast amusement at my own expense, I personally found it objectionable. I was actually offended! Why the hell should it be offensive to ME, of all people- instead of just compellingly silly? Dear Lord, there is little in the world that could be sillier looking than a cheerleader apparently dressed in nothing but gold lame' gloves and a turgid "Hello Kitty" mushroom!

Where's Mario when you need him?

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the concept I was searching for was "Tawdry." It includes the idea that nudity is so inherently dirty that the only way to depict it is to fake it - and then fake it as much, as broadly and as compulsively as possible in order to profit from those who want to participate in something that is dirty because it IS dirty.

It's seeing nudity and sexuality as being sinful - and deliberately rolling in the dirt to the wildly masturbating throngs. It's an appeal to the lowest expressions of the worst manifestations of the most basic of urges. It's taking advantage, in other words, of the moral and ethical failures of other folks.

In that, it's no different than equally offensive appeals to racism with the the goal of getting elected. A lot of folks see this as being comparable to the Janet Jackson nipple "slip," but in fact it's much closer to being DJ whatsisname's Macaca Moment.

Ok, now that was a pretty damn rude observation, so I'll soften it with a more general observation of human nature.

In my vastly cynical opinion, it boils down to this; prohibitions against nudity are not to protect us from the attractive naked flesh of pretty Asian cheerleaders. It's to preserve the male illusion (and indeed, a variety of female self delusion) that we would all be so attractive, if only we were permitted to shed the coverings that protect you, the viewer from an Occasion of Sin.

I've seen enough nekked people to know that the un-enhanced and unsorted human body when scratching it's butt and otherwise going about it's affairs is about as inspirational to lust as, well, your average damp and slightly smelly bath sponge.

This leads us to a genuine backstage truth. There ain't nobody LESS naked than a nude woman lookin' for to be An Occasion of Sin. And there's another, too. The fact that a significant array of males were perfectly happy with being deluded by a crudely airbrushed body-stocking clearly shows that most women are spending way too much on their hunting camouflage.

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