Wednesday, August 13, 2008

"Is it so wrong to pray for rain?"

You've seen the video, asking "is it so wrong to pray for rain?"

Focus on the Family guy Stuart Shepard is asking people, in a video he made, to pray for rain on the day Barack Obama gives his speech in Denver during the Democratic National Convention. Shepard, a one-time TV meteorologist according to KOAA, wants it to start raining two minutes before Obama's speech starts, and he wants that rain to be so hard that it will block out network TV coverage so no one will be able to see or hear Obama's speech during the DNC.

Did you happen to pray for an answer to that question? Could be that's why you are here.

Should you be a person of faith who prayed about whether it would be "so wrong" and then, according to the various traditional teachings, turned to Google as a means to let God/ess provide you a clue to what the answer is, well, don't you just LOVE Her sense of humor?

Yeah, I'm messin' witcha. But then, that's pretty much what Prophets of the Lord do. Read your Bible.

Am I CLAIMING to be a prophet of The Lord? Heavens Forfend! I just suspect that from time to time, anything that anyone might say will contain the right nugget of truth, and the more practiced one is in extracting them and the ruder and more conspicuously one points it out, the more likely it is that the right nugget will bonk enough noggins for people to think that.

I disclaim all desire to be seen as a Prophet.

You see, I view being involved in legitimate prophecy as being an occupational hazard, not a spiritual reward or a particular blessing. And being seen as a Bringer Of Truth Worthy of Following would be, to me, a personal nightmare.

But this smug little Pharasee thinks that asking "would it be wrong to pray for rain" insulates him from the moral consequences of him suggesting a course of action that is prohibited to us in the Big Ten.

Whether or not I can be considered a Christian is a matter of some personal debate. But I do take the words of Christ very seriously indeed and I take the Ten Commandments even more seriously; to the point that understanding their essential meaning, the idea behind the prohibition has been a life-long quest.

Some of of them are difficult to figure out, but this one is not difficult at all. You just need a good translation of the Bible and concordance.

Here's the essence of it; "Thou shalt not take the Lord's Name in vain" is not a prohibition against cussin', its a prohibition of throwing curses at people you do not like and trying to give other people the impression that God is lending their aid and approval. He doesn't, She won't, it's in vain - and if you are giving other folks the impression that it is not, YOU are a liar and they are fools.

So the answer to the question, "would it be wrong to pray for rain" in this case, is real clear and real simple. Yes. And so was asking the question in such a way that it is highly likely that you misled others.

God is not mocked, nor does God parse contracts. What part of your own theology do you not comprehend? Omnipotent, omnipresent, knows the contents of your heart, and therefore your intent.

Do you think God is bound by the rules shown on "I Dream of Jeannie?"

No, fella me lad, all lore and tradition points to that sort of tricksy legalistic triangulation being an attribute of the Bad Guys.

So, which God did you say you were prayin' to, again? I don't recall you mentionin' that.

Regular readers may wonder why I'm not loudly mocking this. Well, first, because despite the question being asked in such a coy and deceptive way, it is a fundimantal issue of ethics, and it has an absolutely straightforward answer that can be put in bulletproof biblical terms.

And second, because Jesus's General did it first, better and shorter. (HT, Pam of Pam's House Blend.)

Pelosi Clashes With Protesters Over Impeachment

BRAD BLOG's Alan Breslauer is Escorted Out of Event by Secret Service After Questioning House Speaker. More on this later... meanwhile, pass this one around!

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

On The Frontlines Of The Culture War: James Hartline Reports Exclusively!!!

Lesbians Terrorize San Diego Community
During Obscene Political Event
As Parents Are Forced To Keep Their Kids
Off The Streets To Protect Them
During The 2008 San Diego Dyke March.

Public Obscenities By Radical Lesbian Group
Spells Doomsday For Family Values
If Same-Sex Marriages Are Not Banned In California.

Warning: This Article Includes Evidence That Contains Graphic Language

Don't we all? Boobies are friendly and warm, soft and cushy.
How could anyone NOT heart Boobies?

Be afwaid, be vewwy vewwy afraid!
Public displays of affection between women might lead to...

James, vhat is zis between you undt your Muzzer?

The James Hartline Report: "Friday, August 08, 2008
National Outrage Over Lesbian March in San Diego
Comments have come flooding in on the report of lesbians marching through a San Diego neighborhood with profanity-filled signs and public displays of immorality.
Here is one of many Comments regarding the Lesbian March Through A San Diego Suburb that has terrified many families with children:

I wanted to see the "comments flooding in" and, to be honest, I wondered if the "profanity filled signs" were funny enough to put on t-shirts. I steeled myself to wade through several pages of the sort of xenophobic crap I'm used to seeing on sites such as this - but I was glad to be disappointed. The comment cited was pretty much the sum total of "the flood" in support. There were a few taking exception, far more politely than he deserved. As the only real support was unsigned, it could easily have come from Hartline himself - and considering his page rank is actually lower than mine, I'd say that's kinda likely.

But nonetheless, I was led to believe that there was much more to this story by this "flood of comments" than there actually was.

"Some gays shoot themselves in the foot once again. In trying to be accepted like regular people wanting to live regular lives, they parade their freaks for all to see...proudly even. These freaks are an embarrassment to those in the homosexual community who just want to live and not bring down anything in order to bring themselves up. So, these freaks will never have my sympathy. They got their attention, now they can kiss the respect that they want goodbye."
Ok, I've seen freaks flying their freak flags in Pride Parades before. I like that sort of thing. Hell, I AM that sort of thing. So, of course, I had to look...

Me, I see a crowd of normal-looking people who happen to be lesbians. They clearly ARE regular people living regular lives - without benefit of clergy. Doesn't seem to have done them any-much harm, either.

Many are parents, and those kids look suspiciously normal, too.

It's about as terrifying, as shocking and as perverted as a puppy stampede.

Perhaps you could have found actual "evidence" of something you could argue to be perverse, but the fact that you THINK you found abundant evidence makes me concerned for you. Truly.

The last thing I think of when I look at the parade is *hot*lesbian*sex*. Frankly, it was more along the lines of "aww, aint' they cute holding hands like that?"

And one person allegedly has a sign that says "I Heart my C*nt". Couldn't find it myself; I am apparently not obsessive enough. But, well, shouldn't she?

I mean, which is better, That Word used in a positive sense, or the fact that you clearly see all these women in the exact way that men like you mean when using That Word and all other references - connoting nasty, evil, vicious, prick-teasing, smelly...

Me, I just see a lot of women. At least one thinks her {(o)} is lovely. I'm sure it is, too. Or at least, I'd never be rude enough to disagree.

But clearly, you see that shaming her her dangerous vice of self-approval (and self-sufficiency, for that matter) as a mandate imposed by your personal faith. I intuit even more about the doctrine of your "faith" when you market this "vile event" as pornography, well, you do it for the same reason that pornographers do. To get the clicks which brings the money.

But, ya know, real porn delivers the full frontal goods. From you, we get a same-sex Hallmark card.

WHERE'S my HOT LESBIAN SEX, James? YOU PROMISED ME HOT LESBIAN SEX that would make the Eyes of The Children Bleed and Change our Families Forever!

Not only were the horses not scared, the ponies didn't even NOTICE!

The families looked just like... ah, I begin to garner a glimmer of your concern!

You'd be much less terrified if they were being conspicuously freaky. And as miserable as you are, you bitter old queen. Yes, I do mock. I do.

On the other hand, the fact that you can even MAKE your face do that while preachin' the Good News tells me that you ain't been mocked NEAR enough!

Nope, when you clearly loathe yourself to the very depths of your withered little soul, who am I to contest your self-assessment? All I do question is your ability to assess others. You know that proverb about "judge not, lest you be judged also?" Well, James, you are the poster boy for that proverb.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Missouri Voter Arrested for Refusing to Show ID

clipped from
A voter in Kansas City on Tuesday
was arrested and sent to jail after he refused to show a driver's license at the polling place before attempting to vote during the state's Primary Election.

The voter is Phil Lindsey of and he posted the details of his harrowing tale over at, where he posts as "galloglas," after being released on Tuesday night.

Never mind that requiring a voter to show a driver's license in MO before he or she can vote was found unconstitutional in 2006. Never mind that he showed the pollworkers a perfectly legal and proper precinct-issued voter ID card when he went to vote. Never mind that he had even called to check with the local Board of Elections before going to vote, to make sure that the ID would be acceptable. Never mind that he even brought a copy of the MO law to show the pollworkers who had demanded a driver's license
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Bookmark for expansion later...

A litttle Ethnic Humor...

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Or, you could take it as an example of the depths to which an artist will sink in order to glean a little attention.

Note: link goes to an old fashioned htmlized ftp server; click any other link at your own risk. NSFW ... randomly.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I hope it's not satire...

But I'm afraid it is; zie also makes fun of Saint Michael (La Wiener Sauvage) by making awful sausage puns. Only cripto-leftist running dogs make sausage puns.

Conservatives tell fart jokes!

Anyhoo, you may see why I wished to be confused; Blanca writes exactly the sort of thing a freeper would write, were they smart enough to realize how dumb you have to be to have not been banned by 2008. Think how hard it must be to not say anything intelligent or consequential for that entire time.

And it's not just IQ; my wife is a special educator, and it's her observation that it requires brainiac level horsepower to be that consistent; even consistently stupid. I mean, consider that neither William F. Buckley or indeed Pat Buchanan have been so wrong about so much at such length.

Of course, neither one is much of a fan of The Collective Wisdom of Our Sacred Culture.
Blanca DeBree Blog: An Open Letter to the Dipshits at ARRA News Service - Arkansas Republican Assemblies: "the Democrats are running a black guy, and anyone seen attacking him are being taken as racist. The media got skittish with Condi and decided that anyone saying anything bad about Obama was a racist.

Of course it seems to be easier to pin racism on Republicans. Don't know why. Maybe it's because of all of our surrogates who call him a Halfrican American or fat radio hosts who practically play it up in black face.

And what are we left with now? An idiot who can barely stumble on the stage and deliver an incoherent speech. And it is the fault of morons like you. We should have run your ilk out of the party years ago when the ran out the homos and Negroes."
More Family Friendly than the Rude Pundit, more subtle than Jesus's General and far bluer in background than Redstate, it's Blanca DeBree, who if not actually a flaming drag queen, should change zir name.

Highly recommended.

What Would Loki Do?

Patch Adams, MD, famous physician/clown, has agreed to chair Martin Luther King's dream of an International Association for the Advancement of Creative Maladjustment

GraphicTruth supports Cindy Sheehan over Phillip Berg, the Libertarian Candidate. Why?

Because it's a lot more fun! It's the Trickster's Reposte! It's sending the right message to all three branches of congress.

That message is "We are Mad as Hell and We Aren't Going To Take You Seriously Any More!"

Pelosi is standing in the way of impeachment and Sheehan is a walking reminder of the crimes committed by this Administration. Her question to Bush was simply "why."

He was unable to face her. He's still unable to face her. Her very existence makes neocons froth and lie to the point that the flying spittle overwhelms the message.

In other words, it will make them seriously, visibly, conspicuously and hilariously nuts. Electing Phillip Berg - well, go look. No fun there. This contest is far to important to the future of our national identity, our culture and our Constitution for us to risk treating it seriously!

Ridicule is the tactical nuclear weapon of politics and there's only real defense; a lively sense of humor and a sincere devotion to avoiding any unconscious absurdity.

George Bush chiding the Chinese about their human rights record? HILARIOUS! Nancy Pelosi about the "lack of evidence" for impeachable offenses? Pure. Comedy. Gold!

There's only one way to go now, lest we go mad in the unfun sorts of way; All - out Unconventional WakaWaka and Scorched Earth Derision to the end of achieving any political outcome that makes the Other Side go bugfuck.

Seriously. Don't bother "following the money." Never mind the petitions. Avoid those who are serious about holding them accountable. That requires respecting the process, and "they" control that process.

Look, rather, for the point where they loose all sense of humor and all sense of proportion, then haul out your slapstick and whack them repeatedly!
(Discourtesy courtesy of - magicially delicious!)

Can you IMAGINE the comedic potential of putting Cindy Sheehan in the House, where the Vice President gloweringly presides, and the next speaker (ho-ever sie may be) will be reminded of exactly what happened to the last one? You know, the one who didn't want to be "divisive" by separating the White Hats from the Black Hats?

Perhaps Nancy hasn't been all that faithful in keeping her separates separate. To me it's clear from her emphasis on the importance of her position - third in line to the Throne of King George - that her position on her position is simple:

Doggie Style. With double penetration.

Here at GraphicTruth, I do my best every day to encourage people to let their freak flags fly. Mostly I think of it as a gesture of liberation, but in cases like this I'm deliberately trying to provoke the pirates into hoisting the Jolly Rodger before they can grapple and board.

Think of it like this; work to elect Sheehan and then target everyone who starts spouting Portents of Doom. Do you have any idea how badly sending Cindy to Congress will offend the Kool Kids?

It's like someone who's come "up thru the scuppers" pretending to be an "officer and a gentleman", comparable in rank, authority and gravatas to one who came by an officer's uniform by the hallowed path of patronage appointment preceded and followed by ritual humiliation.

There is a way we are "expected" to participate in our government by those who run the political machines. That has resulted in... well, sample the last fifty years of political history at random. Now, think what you would have done, faced with the same conditions. If you have the ethics goddess gave a roach and some concept of cause and effect, then you could probably have done better in an absolute sense, REGARDLESS of your politics, because you wouldn't have had the advantage of knowing how "things really work."

It's not difficult to figure out that those who know how "things really work" do little actual work and far less to make things work better. (No margin in that!) You might think, with some justification based on the events of the past couple of decades, that most of "those people" are Socially Conservative Republicans.

Sadly, no; not now, and less so going forward.

It will likely surprise you as to how many of those people are supposed Liberal Democrats, how many claim to be Greens, or Feminists, Libertarians or even Socially Liberal Republicans.

You see, the people who want power the most join the parties and causes that look likely to pay off over time, when it's "their turn." People, say, not unlike Nancy Pelosi.

We want them to blow their stacks and their cover before they get their hands on all that concentrated executive power; power that they want with a throbbing genital urgency that passes all party affiliation.

We need our constitution back in place to keep power-hungry dipshits in line. It's there to dole it out conditionally under controlled circumstances, metered by the masterful and cynical idea of division of powers.

Sending Sheehan to Washington in Pelosi's place would be a masterful reminder of just who is in charge. It would be a visceral reminder to the Administration that whatever they try, whatever allies they have in place, whatever blackmail, dirt, leverage or dirty tricks they may resort to - we the people are strapping on our rubber chickens and clown noses.

The Heyoka are coming. Trick or Fucking Treat!

By John Wildermuth / San Francisco Chronicle
SAN FRANCISCO -- Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan qualified Friday for a November showdown with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, collecting the signatures needed to get on the ballot as an independent candidate for Congress.
Republican Dana Walsh and Libertarian Philip Berg will join Pelosi and Sheehan on the Nov. 4 ballot.
With her ballot spot guaranteed, Sheehan can focus on the fall campaign, where she will challenge Pelosi from the left, slamming the speaker for refusing to start impeachment proceedings against President Bush and not taking a stronger stance against the war in Iraq.
Sheehan will be the longest of longshots in her attempt to oust Pelosi, one of the nation's best-known and most powerful Democrats
became involved in the anti-war movement in 2004, after her son Casey was killed while serving in Iraq.
A year later she founded Gold Star Families for Peace and spoke out against the war in Iraq.

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