Saturday, March 01, 2008

A Worthy Heir to Westbrook Pegler

Why this is hell, nor am I out of it. Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God and tasted the eternal joy of heaven, am not tormented with ten thousand hells in being deprived of everlasting bliss?
Christopher Marlowe, Dr. Faustus
English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1593)

AlterNet: A Liberal Goes Undercover to Brave America's Premiere Right-Wing Gathering:
"FRIDAY MORNING. George W. Bush, when you get right down to it, is a fucker. That's why I don't like him. He's a fucker who does fucked-up things. He's a privileged little shit who doesn't give a damp hell for the opinions of the people he was elected to govern. He buys into the toxic economic theories of unreconstructed capitalism, despite never having had to earn an honest living in his life, and he supports a worldview that cuts out anyone who hasn't had his good fortune -- the worldview of a murderous plutocracy stained with swaths of luck and cruelty where first is first and second is nobody. He's stupid in the truest sense of the word: willfully ignorant and determined to surround himself with people who keep him that way, not only resistant to different ideas but actively hostile towards them. He is neurologically incapable of thinking ahead, and he consigns the consequences of his actions to the status of dreams. And he forced his country into a pointless, unnecessary, unconscionably wasteful war that will poison every aspect of American life for generations.

Worst of all, though, the son of a bitch made me get up at 2 o'clock in the morning to go to his fucking speech at CPAC."

I hardly need to say anything more - but of course I will.

While this above was indeed a classic Peglerization, the moment of true sadness for me was this:

A rail-thin brunette in the row in front of me tests my cover for the first time.

"Hi! Are these seats taken?"

"Help yourself."

"Oh, thanks, sir!" Sir. So much for getting laid. "I'm (name redacted) from the University of Small Midwestern State's Conservative Student Alliance."

"Leonard Pierce, American Milk Solids Council."

"I'm sorry? What is that?"

"It's an industry group for milk solids manufacturers. We lobby Washington lawmakers to lessen regulations on the export of milk solids. The problem is that the government blames us for the incompetence of African mothers."

"That is so unfair."

"Tell me about it."

I have two reactions. First, Irony is Dead, but then we knew that; Carl Rove is still bragging about the ambush.

But second; dear Lord, Leonard; to even think of screwing around with a Midwestern muffin that stupid, and who has likely never heard of a condom in an approving (much less informative) context, one, who due to context and description is no doubt also a sorority member if not a cheerleader?

I'd rather time travel back to the 80's and skank it up at a gay bath house. It would be, I think, marginally less risky - and the conversation would for damn sure be more interesting.

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