Saturday, July 05, 2008

John McCain, heeere's your sign!

The Ultimate Asshole Bumpersticker is available at Cafepress.
Get it now, before it Evil Liberal Censorship causes it to disappear!

I have a "no torture" design at Cafepress which I think is rather good and I was trying to see why I was losing the sales race. I think I've sold two or three, total.

Well, the answer is, it's a good design, but there are a few better ones, and clearly hundreds of better-promoted ones.

But right in the middle of scratching the curiosity itch, I found a design that says "I support waterboarding."

I had to know what combination of stupidity and ignorance of our Constitutionally-recognized basic human rights would provoke creating such a thing - much less the idea of slapping it on the ass of your car.

As the saying goes; "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it."

Assholes create enemies at an exponential rate, and right now, our foreign policy is being determined either by assholes like this, or the fools who PANDER to assholes like this, apparently ignorant of the brutal reality of legitimizing the opinions of Camaro-Driving Assholes.

I found the one you see at the top of the story. And that's your GraphicTruth for the day and a succinct summation of WHY civilized nations DO NOT FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.

FIRST: You make enemies, enemies that may one day be in a position to do you a serious injury.

SECOND - and more immediately - When you torture people, other people treat YOUR people accordingly.

THIRD: When you torture people, they do indeed talk. They tell you exactly what you want to hear. When people tell you exactly what you want to hear, you find out that applying that "intelligence" can lead you far, far astray. Like, for instance, where we are right now, in Iraq.

Where we torture people.

To get "intelligence."

So, like, how's that been workin' out for us?

FOURTH: Those people who understand this and who are supposedly on your side realize that you are adding to their own chances of being tortured or blown up without warning. As a result, you make enemies you don't even know about.

The vast majority of Europeans, Canadians, Australians and of course 70% of the American people can see, hear and understand the consequences and outcomes that are inevitable when you let the asshole drive the Camaro with the Red White And Blue decal onna hood that makes it go even faster!

The FBI, which does not exactly have an institutional tradition of tender concern for the rights of the accused, nonetheless maintains a strict policy against torture that not even Alito could subvert. Why?

Because torturing people gets you false leads, false confessions and acquittals - as well as making you an easy mark for disinformation. Or in other words, aside from the national security situations this causes, it can lead to the public embarrassment of elected and appointed superiors!

Even when those superiors are apparently immune to being embarrassed by the fruits of their own incompetence and malfeasance, those real-world, national security issues remain.

Remember, it's the FBI that was and continues to be our counter-intelligence arm, they went up against the best-trained agents the KGB and the Chinese could send. And, once or twice (at least), Mossad.

They learned patience and have a remarkably good record in getting real intelligence from people, without those people being converted into terrorists in the process; something that Gitmo has rather notably achieved.

But this sort of ruthlessly patient professionalism is unacceptable to the sort of Camero-Driving Assholes who think that there can be no "victory" without someone being beaten to a bloody pulp. And, quite clearly, not only do they feel they have enemies, they positively delight in making them - ignorantly and indiscriminately.

Do you think John McCain is gonna think that's funny or even remotely appropriate?

Now, like all assholes, you may well be about to say "whatcha gonna do about it," or maybe "It's a free country" or "I got a goddamn RIGHT to say whatever I want!"

Indeed. But then, if these things are true, they are true for all of us, not merely the sort of asshole who drives a Camaro as if it were a spooge filled, condom-less penis aimed at the faces of their fellow citizens.

While it is certainly "First Amendment speech," the First Amendment says nothing about legal, non-violent consequences - ranging from mockery to boycotts to direct objections to Cafepress. Those communications are also protected by the First, And Greatest Amendment.

Care to shake your fist at me? Let me refer you to the Second Amendment and Common Law. Or in other words, it's unwise in the extreme to use physical force against people who are too civil to simply beat the crap out of you on general principles. "Civilized" does not mean "pussy."
Indeed, civilized nations and persons tend to be rather better prepared for violence than others - since they rather commonly run into this sort of situation and need to have a variety of options to deal with it. Those options most definitely involve physical force.

Then there are the consequences that, while not being protected by the first or recognized as legitimate by the law, can nonetheless be expected to occur on a statistical basis.

I sure as hell would not want to be parking anywhere NEAR a National Guard or Reserve outfit with that on the back of my car. Never mind being keyed, it's entirely possible that I'd find an APC parked on it.

An APC with this sticker slapped on it's ass.

Feel free to pass this on to Cafepress ( and inquire as to whether the bumpersticker (and indeed, the shop itself) meets their Terms Of Service.

Or you can call Cafepress toll free at 1-877-809-1659. If you are outside of the US, please call 1-402-517-4480.

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