Saturday, March 25, 2006

In contrast to Plastic Pregnant Britney Spears - Susie Bright Brings the Real

Susie Bright's Journal : If These Wombs Could Talk..:
"If women told their family histories, it would reveal the facts of life: that fertility and the female body are not to be trifled with. It's not going to fit in the 'abstinence primer' view of the world.

Women bleed. We produce eggs every month and then our body expels them. We get pregnant, we miscarry, we abort, we fuck, (in love, in pleasure, in resignation, in doubt) we have stillbirths and live births, we die in birth, we struggle to get pregnant and to avoid pregnancy. We raise children and we lose children. This is the life of the XY superhuman. This is our thread.

There is not one of us who does not have a womb with a story."

Um. Yeah. It's up there on the shelf, and it won't shut up.

But my docking parts have a story too. About being in a serious relationship with a woman who was militantly pro-life - until the day she got pregnant, and being expected to hold her hand as my potential child was terminated.

Mixed feelings? You bet.

But had she even asked me about it I would have told her it was the only sane course of action. Her odds of surviving a birth were not good, the child's odds worse, odds of profound disabilities were astronomically bad, should the child "miraculously" survive.

She not working, and me being on disability gave us no resources to consider alternatives, had there been any. And there was no longer any "us."

So I did not take the opportunity to gently point out the contradictions. I knew it would have never occurred to her there could be the possibility - she was sure she was quite sterile. Many doctors would have said the same. Hyperactive adrenals do strange things to your body, few of them good. Her testosterone levels were higher than mine.

What that would have done to a fetus doesn't bear thinking about.

But I did feel a pang. More of a wish as to what could have been than any objection at this outcome, as reality trampled beliefs that, of course could only apply to those Other People.

I think I will extend that kindness to all such women, even if they do take up their socially required beliefs again. Some things are just inappropriate for use as ammunition in the culture wars.

But what DID piss me off is that she made me go home and change into a fucking suit, so she wouldn't be "embarrassed" by me standing there in my leathers!

Yeah. I could have said no. Didn't seem like the right time. Come to think about it, it's the first time I've realized how very much it pissed me off. But I knew why she needed me there, and it was all about her insecurities, about "what people would think," and appearances.

Well, if you don't have a right to feel a little insecure and be indulged in an abortion clinic waiting room, where is it reasonable to expect it?

So there it is: my "womb story." I suppose we all have them, after all.

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