Monday, April 24, 2006

"I'm the Decider!"

American Agenda: refers us to Mr. McCorley at DailyKOS for this delightful bit of vicious whimsy.

Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what 'I'm the decider' reminds me of. It sounds like something a character in a Dr. Seuss book might say.

So with apologies to the late Mr. Geisel, here is some idle speculation as to what else such a character might say:

I'm the decider.
I pick and I choose.

I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.

And as I decide

Each particular day

The things I decide on
All turn out that way.

I decided on
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.

I decided on tax cuts

That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.

And parklands and wetlands

Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none

Would be more than enough!

I decided that schools

All in all are the best
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.

I decided those wages
You need to get by
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.

I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.

I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.

That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided
As"just goddam paper"
It should be derided.

I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.

And Cheney and Rummy

And Condi all know

That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.

I'm the Decider

So watch what you say

Or I may decide

To have you whisked away.

Or I'll tap your phones.

Your e-mail I'll read.

`cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.

Yes, I'm the Decider

The finest alive

And I'm nuking Iran.

Now watch this drive!

Click here to send kudos.

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