Monday, September 15, 2008
He Shoots!!! He Scores!!!
It's the end of the first quarter in this grudge match against the Oilers; Obama's heading for the net, it looks like he's in the clear when OOOH, McCain tries to spear him!
Oh, it looks like the refs saw that this time, Jim!
Looks like they did, Bill. They're called a penalty. The first round draft pick from Hawaii is being called to the bench by the trainer for a look-see.
You know, it's really not my place to comment about the quality of the refs on the ice...
...but they suck, Jim!
And that's why I'm The Announcer, and you are the Color Commenter, Bill. You are here to say the dumb things that would get me fired. You took so many pucks to the head, anything could fall out... Well, looks like the medic is giving Obama the thumbs up; he'll be taking his penalty shot against the Oiler's rookie goal-tender.
Some fans may not know this, but rumors are that Rove is sitting out this game due to some contract dispute, or that he's gotten crosswise with McCain. That's why Palin suited up, and some folks wonder if she's up for it. But the Oilers are thin in the bench right now, so McCain really doesn't have a choice. Jim, you racked up a lot of ice time playing for them and against them; what do you think?
Well, when it comes to the Oilers, Jim, there's only two things that you can count on. First, nothing that comes out of the front office is the truth, even when they actually believe it themselves. And second, they play the meanest offensive game in all of hockey. The really don't play D... and mostly they don't need to.
Bill, Palin looks nervous there. Obama's taking his shot... stick fake! Head fake and... great jumping Jehosepat! He put it RIGHT between her SKATES! Man, that's an ugly way to start your career in the majors!
Let's look at the instant replay... damn, he took that shot like she wasn't even in the net! Now that's how you play HOCKEY!
Ok, you know that when someone in politics makes a big fat hairy deal about being a Hockey Mom, sports metaphors are gonna start flying. I actually started the illustration for my post about Canadian Style politics, and because it occurs to me that Obama is a game-changer in the same way Gretzky was. He kinda brought the whole puck into net concept back into the game; for a while there, hockey was what happened in the intermissions between fights.
The campaign video was a damn gift!
So here's to Wayne and Obama, who both know that at the end of the day, you need to put the puck in the net if you want your name on the cup.
Illustration credit: Me!
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